Sex is one of the few "everyday taboos" in a world where
sex is discussed in every detail. While vast numbers of people engage
in it, it's still seen as naughty, beyond the pale, and even downright
sinful by some members of society.
Anal sex is vastly
popular in mainstream porn, where women are able to "take it
up the ass" without blinking, and it may surprise you to discover
exactly how many men are particularly keen to try it. Women, on
the other hand, are often nervous or fearful about anal sex. The
anus is not really designed to accept large objects, and anal sex
can easily be a painful experience.
It is perhaps a modern
irony that men are outrageously over-excitable at the idea of penetrating
a woman's anus, but when it comes to being penetrated (especially
by a man) they get mighty disturbed. Perhaps this is why many women
insist on buying a strap on and "getting their own back"
when anal sex rears its head (sorry) in the bedroom. Interestingly,
men are more likely to obtain pleasure from anal penetration because
the prostate is stimulated. With women it's definitely an acquired
taste. Of course, there are plenty of women out there who love anal
sex, who get off on the whole taboo, and who have learned to enjoy
If you're not into
it, just say no. That's all there is to it.
If, however, you like
the idea of trying backdoor shenanigans, there's a few things to
1. Lubrication. Use
more than you think you need. As I said before, the bum is not really
meant to have anything shoved into it, so lube really helps.
2. Relaxation. Your
partner has to remember he can't just stick it in there. You need
to be eased into it. He should manually stimulate the outside of
your anus, and it helps if you're sexually aroused already. You
have to loosen the anal sphincter to allow the penis to enter, so
it will help for him to insert his finger first to "open you
3. Slow, slow, slow.
This is a delicate area, so if he thinks he's about to get into
an "anal pounding" like in a porn movie, stop him. He
has to penetrate slowly, and move slowly once he's in there.
4. Cleanliness. Your
rectum can harbour some nasty bacteria, so do not allow him to penetrate
your vagina once he has performed anal sex. It's a good idea to
wash your hands before you head around the front again.
5. Safe Sex. Don't
need to tell you, remember the condoms (and the lube!!)
If you want to know
more about anal sex for women, read Tristan Taormino's great book:
Guide to Anal Sex for Women.
I've created a whole site dedicated to this special kind of sex at Anal for Women. Aside from sexy adult galleries and movies depicting female-friendly anal sex there's a whole magazine with advice, articles, reviews and erotic fiction. Worth checking out!
There's more info on
anal sex at Sensual Couples,
an adult site for women with plenty of interesting articles.
There's a similar article on anal sex at our sister site Sex
for Women Info
Or you can visit the
Sealed Section for nude men and
sexy couples pics
Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
by Tristan Taormino, Fish (Illustrator)
pleasure, confidence and comfort to all your anal encounters with
thg help of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women dishes out
tips, debunks myths and even offers erotic inspiration. An outstanding
example of what I think a modern 'sex manual' should be: it covers
a topic that the author knows in depth on a personal level, it is
factually accurate and conveys all the information the readers might
need, it manages to capture the pleasure and passion which the author
finds in her chosen subject, it provides guides to more advanced
topics for more advanced and/or adventurous readers, and it contains
a solid resource guide for folks who wish to learn more.