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Erection Essay Results
A New Zealand teenager
was given a weeks suspension after handing in an essay entitled
"Getting a Boner." The teacher had asked students to write
a story entitled "How does your body betray you?"
His mother complained,
saying her son wrote about a natural experience, but the teachers
and principal said it was offensive to others and inappropriate.
The boy was told he could return after two days if he received counselling.
Ananova.com, 11 May,
A Real Example of
Not Knowing Your Arse Was On Fire
A Danish man having
surgery on his backside broke wind and set his genitals alight.
A surgeon was removing
a mole on his backside with an electric knife when the man broke
wind, lighting a spark.
His genitals had been
washed with surgical spirits and caught fire.
He's suing the hospital
for pain and suffering and loss of income.
Ananova.com 14 April,
The Search for the
Lifestyles recently conducted research to find the perfect penis,
in an effort to produce the perfect condom.
In what sounds like
the perfect teenage boy's dream, two nurses were employed by the
company to measure the penises of 300 students. The measurements
were carried out during Spring Break at a nightclub in Cancun, Mexico.
It turns out that the
perfect penis is 14.927 centimetres long with
a circumference of 12.628 centimetres.
7 July 2001
Arizona Makes It
Into The Naughties - Almost
The government of Arizona
in the US has finally repealed laws which prohibit cohabitation,
sodomy, and sex before marriage. For over a century the state has
had laws prohibiting "open and notorious cohabitation,"
the "infamous crime against nature" and any "lewd
or lascivious act . . . with the intent of arousing, appealing to
or gratifying the lust, passion or sexual desires."
Seven years ago an
attempt was made to get rid of the laws without success. Now the
bill awaits approval by the state governor. So far, 933 calls have
been made demanding that the governor veto the bill, but no-one
has been prepared to call in and support it.
Adultery will remain
against the law.
- AVN News, 2 May 2001
Vulvas Still Seen
of female genitalia have been censored from a New Zealand exhibition,
after some patrons complained. The paintings, which were being displayed
at the Wellington Home and Garden show, were turned to the wall
to prevent offense.
The artist, Sandro
Copp, said the pictures respected women. "My intention is to
show my vision of beauty. It's not like I'm getting off on it."
- Ananova, 21 April
Tells The Real Reason Why Breasts Are Round
until now, evolutionists have proudly claimed that women's breasts
are shaped the way they are in order to get men. The theory goes
that since men like big boobs, the bigger breasted women were more
likely to survive and pass on their genes. It's worth noting that
most of these evolutionary scientists were male.
a British researcher has come up with her own theory as to why humans
have the biggest breasts of all primates. It's so a baby can breathe
while breastfeeding. “With a flat breast, the child’s nose would
get pressed up against the mother’s body too much, says Gillian
Bentley of London University College's anthropology department.
"Deeply embedded in the mother’s skin, breathing would be nearly
impossible. Infants dying in such a manner would have led to very
strong (natural) selection for round breasts,”
of obvious, isn't it?
Manila Bulletin, 20 April 2001
Get Sexual Online.
A survey of 500 college
students from Texas A&N University has found that, while men
are more likely to pursue online pornography, more women were interested
in having cybersex in chat rooms.
The survey, published
in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, found that 43.5% of all students
had accessed sexually explicit online material, most citing "curiosity"
as the main reason. Around 25% had been in sexual chat rooms, although
many were "watchers" instead of participants. Interestingly,
13% of online users sought out porn in order to enhance sexual experiences
with their partners.
- Reuters Health, 14th
The Rules Have Changed,
but Women Still Experiencing "Regretted Sex"
A study by Australian
researcher Vicki Arbes-Dupuy has found that the rules of engagement
for relationships have changed in recent years. She conducted group
discussions among men and women who knew each other socially, to
discover how men and women related to each other in the new century.
Most participants felt
it was reasonable to move from first contact to a sexual relationship
within the space of 2 weeks to a month. In past decades, this time
span measured months or years. Both men and women considered casual
sex to be a desirable method of gaining "experience."
No surprisingly, men
were keen to move to the sexual stage as soon as possible, describing
flirting and other "getting to know-you" methods as "irritating".
For women, the flirting was simply part of the experience.
study also found that up to 70% of the women in the group had had
one sexual experience they had not wanted. They did not describe
the experience as rape, but rather passed it off as an "unpleasant
experience". Arbes-Dupuy described it as "regretted sex"
and found that many went along with the sex out of fear.
One woman said: "Sometimes
you are not sure how they are going to react, especially if you
are staying over at their house. You
just worry if you say no, what's he going to do? You sometimes don't
know where you are, you don't know how to get home, and that's a
big factor. It's easy just to do it, get it out of the way."
- The Age website,
8 April, 2001
* A man, swimming in a
Florida pool, sees the pool intake pipe and gets a unique idea. Hours
later, after police, firemen, and EMT personnel are called, the man
is taken to an area hospital--along with ten feet of pipe attached
to a very swollen part of his anatomy.
Stupid Sex - The Most Idiotic and Embarrassing Intimate Encounters
of All Time
by Kathryn Petras, Ross Petras
* A newly married couple
in Turin set up a video camera in their bedroom to tape all of their
honeymoon activities. But somehow certain crucial wires got crossed.
While they were enjoying their honeymoon sex, so was everyone else
in their apartment building: the couple had accidentally connected
their camera to the building's cable television system.
alphabetical compendium of carnal catastrophes is enough to make
anyone consider celibacy. From the India-South Korea condom conflict,
to a woman with a remarkable way of playing the flute, everything
that can go wrong does go wrong. Some of these stories are not for
the squeamish, but they provide a hilarious picture of the lengths
to which some people will go for a thrill.
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